These past several weeks have put a bit of a strain on me. I was worrying about everything under the sun and freaking out constantly. Ryan didn't know how to handle my frantic-ess and in trying to get things done I felt that I wasn't getting any good QT with Nathan. I couldn't focus while driving and simple decisions were turning into agonizing life choices. At one point I actually considered going to my doctor and getting some medication (which is not easy for me to admit). And then someone (actually it was my sister-in-law, Kristen, who has two kids of her own and knows a little about this "crazy" feeling) suggested I get some good, quality ME time. And I decided to take her advice. I skipped a family function to have a girls weekend with friends from college. Of course this decision came with guilt (for not seeing my family), worry (of leaving Nathan for the first time and putting my mom and sister in charge of taking him the 2 hour drive to Michigan so family could at least see him) and feelings of selfishness (for doing something for myself for an ENTIRE WEEKEND). But it was exactly what I needed. Of course I missed my family and Nathan terribly, but I was happy to be consumed in a weekend full of strong friendships, celebrations, laughter and love. It proved to be the perfect medecine and just what I needed to feel like myself again. And I guess that's nothing to feel guilty about.
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