Today

Today has been difficult.

Today, we talked about what was going to happen.  They would put on the mask.  And he would go to sleep.  And Dr. Bowman would fix his head.  After he woke up he'd have on a "hat" and probably an owie on his head.  We'd spend the night in the hospital.  And mommy and daddy would be there the whole time.  He had this down-packed.

Today, Nate was as happy as could be and flirted non-stop with the female nurses while we waited the 4+ hours for him to go into the OR.  (Must be those blue eyes and long eyelashes.)

Today we talked about what it means to be brave.  I told him being brave means that even when you are scared, you are still strong.  We practiced this when he had to get his blood drawn.  Would you believe that he didn't even flinch?  Not so much as a whimper when they put the needle in.  (If you know me or asked my mom, she would have a MUCH different story of how I reacted to getting my blood drawn when I was little.  And mom,  this is not an invitation for you to write the whole story in the comments.) 

Today, Nate didn't eat anything.  And he didn't complain either. 

Today, he had to have 3 xrays and was a champ.  Proudly showed off his stickers to me afterward.

Today when they wheeled him back for surgery, he was happily chatting with the nurse who was bringing him back.

Today, I learned something.  I learned that my 3 year old (as of tomorrow, anyway) is braver than me.  Like, waaaaaay braver.  I broke down yesterday (pregnant and hormonal + your baby being in the hospital for an unplanned surgery on his birthday = emotional mess).  I didn't want to.  I tried to control it, but I couldn't.  I sobbed into my hands that covered my face so Nate wouldn't see me.  But he knew.  He wheeled his little chair up to me and said, "Mommy, you sneezed?"  Broke my heart.  I realized something then-that I need to be stronger for him.  If he can handle it all so well, why can't I?  I can't even handle getting a cavity filled.  Seriously.  I can't imagine what kind of wreck I would be if Nate didn't handle hospitals and doctors and nurses so well.  I think him being so brave actually has helped me get through these times more easily.  And for that I am very lucky.

Today, my day-away-from-turning-3-year-old taught me how to be brave.