Not Me! Monday

The following are things I have NOT done:

I did not forget how long it had been since I had given Nate a bath.  I always keep track of that and bathe him regularly.  It most certainly had not been so long that I couldn't even remember the last time I had done it.  I'm sure it was this week sometime.  Or at the very least, last week.

Today, I did not end up in the garage holding a basket of laundry for several confused seconds, wondering why I was standing in the garage holding a basket of laundry.  Nope, not me I know where the laundry room is in my own home!

This week you would not have found me walking around Target with a large pineapple (yes, they have pineapples!) with the intention of setting it down somewhere to take a picture of it.  Nope, I'm really not that odd or desperate to take an original picture.

And lastly, today I did not take Nate grocery shopping while Ryan and my brother-in-law went to move/organize our storage unit only to get everything rung up and realize I could not find my debit card. I did not then hand the cashier an expired credit card to use.  Further, I did not ask the nice cashier to suspend my transaction while I very calmly tried to dig through my purse and pockets in search of said debit card.  It was not me who then, upon realizing that I had lost my debit card, called my husband and told him he had to come with money, pronto.  I then did not change my mind and call my mom so my husband could finish what he was doing instead.  The nice woman at Jewel did not try to make me feel better by telling me while I waited 15 minutes for my mom to arrive, that "this kind of thing happens at least a dozen times a day" and how cute Nate was to take away from my obvious embarrassment. And when my mom finally called and said, "I'm here behind the registers, where are you?" it did not just then dawn on me that I may not have checked my coat pocket where I did NOT find my debit card that I thought was lost.  No, not me, I would never be that scatter-brained!

And as for my mom who came to save the day?  She did not go the Jewel in city A when I very clearly told her we were at the Jewel in city B.  At least I know where I get it from!